Are You That Person? And What To Do About It

Are you that person?

You know the one. The person who always has a reason why something won’t work. Who presents obstacles rather than solutions. Who makes every room feel slightly smaller than it was before they arrived.

I’ve been that person. More than I’d like to admit. Usually when I’m stressed, tired, or feeling undervalued.

The thing about being that person is that it’s usually invisible to you and obvious to everyone else. You think you’re being realistic. They think you’re being corrosive.

What to do about it:

1. Notice the pattern. The first step is recognising when you’re in it. Usually there’s a physical feeling – a tightness, a defensiveness, a pre-emptive disappointment.
2. Ask what’s underneath it. The presenting issue (this idea won’t work) is rarely the real issue. The real issue is usually about fear, fatigue, or feeling unseen.
3. Change the question. Instead of ‘why won’t this work?’ ask ‘what would need to be true for this to work?’ It’s a small shift that changes everything.
4. Say so. If you’re not at your best, tell people. It’s disarming, and it removes the need for passive resistance.