Engagement and personal vs professional

Do you ever wonder about the balance between engaging people as humans, and also holding the professional relationship?

This is something I think about a lot, and can struggle with. Here's a hodgepodge of thoughts:

1. Personal isn't the opposite of professional

You can be personal AND professional. The most important industry of healthcare knows that bedside manner goes a long, long way.

2. Professional isn't the opposite of personal — maybe?

Likewise, boundaries, structures, agreements — these things aren't just saved for the working world. We have them in our families, with our kids, with our parents. Sometimes we need them with people who've hurt us and we need to hold boundaries.

Sure, we aren't charging our family for our time with them. But there are times when we need structures that begin to look like professional ones.

3. Sometimes — maybe most of the time — transaction is better than transformation

I dislike it when people criticise something as being "too transactional, not transformational", as if transactional is inherently worse. I want my grocery shop to be transactional. I want the online services I subscribe to be transactional. I want the payment to be predictable, and the outcome to be predictable.

I think most things are transactional — and then as a result of those transactions, they may end up being quietly transformational in our life.

4. The danger is the false dichotomy

Where I get this wrong is that I can be "transformation" and "personal" — which are strengths of mine — but not deliver the also-needed "transactional" and "professional" parts.

For instance, I may go above and beyond on a project in terms of care, attention to detail, and emotional labour — but miss out an entire part of the key deliverable.

Likewise, others may get it wrong where they deliver the transaction just fine, but with very little soul or care, and miss the point of the transaction.

We need both.