Engagement and the dish washer

How do you get your kids to load the dishwasher properly?

Quite a question — and of course, a question that is perhaps a proxy for so many of our challenges in engaging people in behaviour change.

After a recent issue with our dishwasher and the way the kids were loading it (it's their chore), here are some thoughts:

1. Telling doesn't help

The issue was that the kids weren't cleaning off the food from the plates into the bin, so the dishwasher was getting clogged. And when I got angry about this, and told them to do it differently, it didn't seem to make a difference.

2. Showing them doesn't help either

Even showing them what to do didn't make a difference.

3. Them doing it makes some difference

It certainly is better when they actually do the task themselves — but that alone isn't enough.

4. Them feeling the consequence and having to do the repair themselves makes the difference

It's when the kids have to put their hand in, clear out the food, get out the plunger, figure out the drainage, and actually feel and do the work of the consequence — that they want to change how they do it.

And so it is with everyone. There's a saying, "Show and tell". Then there's another: "Show, don't tell". Perhaps we can reframe it into something like: Show, tell, do.