Engaging a manager who micromanages you

Have you ever wondered how to engage a manager who micromanages you, so that they listen to your advice?

1. Micromanagement is a self-fulfilling spiral of immaturity on both parts

In my experience, micromanagement happens because the micromanager doesn’t trust the competence of the other person, generally arising from their own insecurities about control.

Ironically, the person being micromanaged makes it worse. They become compliant, wanting to appease the manager — and therefore take less initiative, merely following commands. The micromanager then sees this and issues increasingly micromanaged commands. It’s a self-fulfilling spiral.

So in my experience, micromanagers micromanage, and the micromanaged allow themselves to be micromanaged — both on account of their own insecurities.

2. Adjust the engagement frequency away from compliance

You need to be the mature one in the relationship, and get into a powerful state — with a frequency of competence from yourself, and an expectation of integrity from them. You need to call out the best in them, as well as bring the best from you.

3. See yourself as a presidential advisor

Imagine you’re the head of a government department, and you bring the president 5 options. That’s the energy you’re wanting.

Bringing options shows initiative and competence. Giving your preferred recommendation shows you’re willing to take responsibility. And then you remember the decision they made, and hold them to it.

4. Say: “I need you to trust me”

When they begin questioning your competence, your line is: “I need you to trust me to do what I am hired to do.”

Then silence. Let that statement stand in the air.

This takes courage. But it shows your boundary. It shows strength, not submission.

5. It’ll take a year

You’ll be up and down on this journey, getting it wrong, adjusting, getting it right, then slipping back. But stick at it for a year. It’s a journey of recovery from submission.