Engaging through insecurity

Have you ever struggled to engage with someone, a group, a responsibility, or a meeting, because you were a bit insecure about it?

If you’re in that situation, here are some insights that might help:

1. When we are insecure, we are generally over-insecure

Because we live in our own heads, a narrative of insecurity will play constantly to us — but not to others. By the time we get to the meeting or moment of engagement, we have become even more insecure than the situation warrants. It helps to recognise this.

2. How we engage with ourselves determines how we engage with others

When we are insecure, we engage from insecurity and with insecurity — which can easily end up determining things. So it’s helpful to catch ourselves and have a little talk with ourselves first.

3. Nobody wants us to be insecure, they want us to succeed

If you’re insecure about giving a speech, remember that the audience wants you to succeed, and will work with you to do so. Insecurity is often the thing we project on ourselves, that others not only do not want for us, but actively want the opposite.

It’s in everyone’s best interests that we succeed.

4. So then, show up for the best in people

We decide to show up for the best in people. We can disclose our insecurity if we want. But generally, we just need to step out and engage — and it turns out, people are pretty much always there to partner with us in making it work.