Ever struggled to ask people to do things?

Do you ever struggle to ask people to do something?

I struggled with this for decades. I was so afraid people would say no, reject me, feel like I was imposing, question my reasons, suggest I was an idiot… Yet at the same time, if someone asked ME for help, I’d gladly do it!

Here are four simple steps that I found work, by making things clear and simple:

1. State the context

“Hey X, I’m not sure if you know, but we are moving house next weekend.”

2. Make your request as specifically as possible

“Would you be able to help us move some of our things for 2 hours this Saturday?”

3. State the reason WHY, using the word “because”

“Because this will mean we can focus on cleaning the house while you’re moving things. It will really help us.”

Make sure you use the word “because”. This is based on Ellen Langer’s Copy Machine study, which found that giving a reason — any reason — dramatically increases compliance.

4. Optional: Affirm they have a choice

“Of course you can say if you’re unable to do it.”

That’s it. Context, specific request, because, and an out. Simple, but most people skip at least two of these.