What to think when people don't engage

What do you do when people don't engage? What thoughts start running in your mind?

Here are three things to remember:

1. Often people are busy with something else

It's not because they don't like you, or don't find what you're doing valuable. It's that people are busy.

No reply to your email? They've likely been consumed with work. They didn't give you the referral you were hoping for? They were probably focused on their own challenges and forgot.

2. It's not because they don't care

It's easy to write a lack of engagement off as "well, they just don't care." Most likely this isn't true. Ironically, we all have areas where people will perceive that we don't care — it's just that we are often blind to our own behaviour.

3. They don't hate you

In fact, they probably aren't even thinking about you. It's not personal. And it is very unlikely that they are talking behind your back, scheming for your thing to fail.

These three points are perhaps obvious. But in the midst of emotions, we can really feel these things. I find it helps to cool down and remind myself it's not a value statement — people are busy with their life, just like I am with mine.